The Chronicles of Courtney

Hello Fans, 😆😏 I know most of y’all are chomping at the fuckin heels of everyone trying to get the run down on the unfortunate demise of beefcake and I. For those fuckers who are slow, and don’t stalk me like everyone else. Beef cake and I are divorced. It’s not at dramatic as what everyone hopes for. Wellll lets just start from the beginning then huh? Have you ever had that all consuming, obsessed, all enveloping type of love. Where you live and breath and feel like you exist solely for that one soul you felt was sent to you by whatever god you believe in? That was beefcake🖤, in the start. That man rode in on his white horse and stole my very soul. No questions asked, sweeper of the heart should be his new name. We were the couple everyone loved, loud and loving and danced the fucking floors on fire. Laughing and loving and fucking our way through life. It was simply life that got in the way, the pressure of being in a blended family. The horrible feeling of keeping up w

Hello All!  How the hell are You guys?!  Let’s see..... where to start..... oh, I got a new job. I am now the parts and logistic coordinator for a company I cannot name because my shit is to vulgar and I don’t need to get fired. Just know, I love it and I fucking rock at it and everyone loves me there..... welllll not everyone lmao. Some people just don’t appreciate my organization skills. Let’s be honest my patience for incompetence has pretty much diminished. I could never ever be put in a manger position. Thank god my boss is awesome and doesn’t judge my foul language and crude humor and my judgmental having ass. LOL  Hmmmm what else.... oh I’m am of course on the never ending  carousel of being on a diet one week to saying fuck it YOLO on taco Tuesday. So I’m forever going to be on the chunky side... yasssss thank you for all the compliments on how I’m not... I’m fatter in person.  I’m still currently going strong with sexy beefcake, only wanted to murder him a handf

Hello All! Ladies and gents, strap on your strap on it’s gonna be a freaky ride!! It’s been awhile, so figured I’d start you back with what I promised last time. Our anniversary trip to the greatest city I know. New Orleans. Where bad decisions happen and dirty bucket list wishes get marked off! A little back story, so you can understand the full story. My beefcake and I had a few months of insanity and separated for a few months. All you Facebook people knew. It was a thing, now it’s over. All is well in Murphy land now. (Counseling rocks. Do it) anywho, this was our first trip together since we were back together. The trip up was filled with many mushy kisses and we fucking did it speeches and promises of a better us. Very lovely but not to worry, things will get nasty soon enough my little freaks.  We arrive right at dinner time, drop the bags off and head straight to dinner and drinks. The dinner sucked until I realized I could BRING MY DRINK WITH ME! My little brain was blown

Hello All, Well 2018 can suck big fat fucking donkey dick. I’m so far over it and it’s only fucking March. So first before the horrid new year even started we were testing my oldest daughter in school. So any mom who has a child who is struggling in school will understand how hard it is. Every single day. Not only that but I found out riley is a big fat liar. So she no longer has a phone. Layne my beautiful tiny spitfire likes to live like a pig who’s just been fed scraps in her room... IN MY NEW HOUSE. As well as showering in filth. So she got her entire room and bathroom taken from her. Cause I’m Mom and I said so. UGGHHHHHHHHHH.... The lord is testing me lately with these children. I can’t lately. Found out Jason is literally allergic to the entire outside world.... he will be the next bubble boy. Swear. Then with all of this going on, we get a real fucking kick in the balls and my husband gets a call his brother lost his life in a very tragic car accident. A wife lost her so

Hello All, As most of you know, I have anxiety. At least 10 times a week I've got cancer or my littles have some type of whacked out disease. Its awful. Every article I read leads me into a full blown freak out. Sometimes I can control my stupid impulses and horrid mind. Something is seriously wrong with it by the way. Well if you read any of my previous shit you've already figured that out. LOL Well anyway, my sister and husband talks me down most of the time. My poor daughters are screwed though lol My oldest freaks out as much as I do. Don't run in the parking lot or you will die! LOL swear she yelled that at her little brother. It a running joke in our family. Very small things in this house can make you die... Ya you can judge, then I'll tell you to shut the hell up. Living with severe anxiety can be crippling sometimes. Do you assholes think I want to live this way? Doesn't help that I can't even take a freaking pill to calm my shit down. I am allergic

Hello All, Yes yes, I missed y'all to... LOL Sorry life caught up with me...by that I mean, I realized how much I jiggled and that I didn't fit in my pants so great anymore. So I am trying this whole "gym life" and its kicking my fucking ass. But hey if I can get to the point where I can eat a damn pizza without feeling like I need to sacrifice my first born in order to not gain 123756923856 pounds, from that one stuff crust sent from the gods. Then I will give a good go. Between this new schedule and well just life with what feels like ten kids and work and well my books.... Its been difficult. SO bare with me if y'all don't get weekly post :) Annyywwhhoooo, My life altering story tonight I blame on T.V. and parents incapable of being a proper parent. (yeah, I said it) And if you get offend then you are probably said parent. About 6 or so months ago, my husband was home from his hitch. My wonderful once in a lifetime love of a husband always tries to