The Flu Demons
Hello All,
As most of you know, I have anxiety. At least 10 times a week I've got cancer or my littles have some type of whacked out disease. Its awful. Every article I read leads me into a full blown freak out. Sometimes I can control my stupid impulses and horrid mind. Something is seriously wrong with it by the way. Well if you read any of my previous shit you've already figured that out. LOL
Well anyway, my sister and husband talks me down most of the time. My poor daughters are screwed though lol My oldest freaks out as much as I do. Don't run in the parking lot or you will die! LOL swear she yelled that at her little brother. It a running joke in our family. Very small things in this house can make you die... Ya you can judge, then I'll tell you to shut the hell up. Living with severe anxiety can be crippling sometimes. Do you assholes think I want to live this way? Doesn't help that I can't even take a freaking pill to calm my shit down. I am allergic to every kinda medication there is pretty much. Swell up like the little brat of charlie and the chocolate factory. Or get hives so bad its unbearable. So I have learned to joke about the things I try to control but can't really... Fake it till I make it... But then this great flu descended upon this earth....
It got me. I am one of the unfortunate souls that the flu demons said "here lies Courtney, I will infect her and that trashy mouth" ....All that talk about me never have gotten it before. Those fuckers showed me. I started to feel super bad on a friday, thought crap I stayed up to late. I just need some sleep. So I went to bed early. Woke up to death. I was a total zombie. I haven't ran a fever in probably seven years guys. Yeah I got the tummy bugs with the shits and what not. NEVER ran fever. My fucking skin hurt. I wanted to lay naked in my bed, but then my sheets hurt my skin. Everything hurt. I was dying. or dead. I didn't know my ass from elbow. By the grace of an angel I still fed my kids and kept up the house the best I could. Bless my sweet husband came home about 9 on Saturday night so I could get up to an urgent care or something to get started on meds. Left the house about 10 and went to the closest urgent care....that was closed down from that mother fucker Harvey. So I remembered that I had a smooth in and out transition at the new memorial Herman at 242. Its late so it'll happen fast. I get there and there is 2 people ahead. One huge dude and one little girl. I am impressed with how the nurse was in the front. Gave me my blessed mask I wore for a week that wonderful lady. Took longer because a pregnant lady came in, not quite ready for maternity ward. I'm not spineless. That's fine, I just kept watching friends on netflix. About 45-50 min in the front I get brought back in a room. By this point I swear I was pretty much a walking corpse. I felt like fucking hell ran over and shit on by a bear. My bitch mode was on, I was tired and hurt everywhere.
So I was finally back, I just needed a flu test and some god damn tamiflu and some reassurance I wasn't going to be one of the souls on the death pole these flu demons have taken this year. I heard the prego being released and then the giant. I was back in that room for almost an hour in a half with not one nurse or doctor that even poked their heads in to see if I was still fucking breathing. Every second that passed the bitchometer was climbing. When I hit that hour and 45 min mark. I got my little sick ass out of that blasted bed and went for a stroll to see if there wasn't a fucking zombie Apocalypse or something that had everyone in a frenzy.
Now I know I have a lot of nurse friends that will probably read this and let me tell you. I love your heart I cant do what you do. I have the utmost respect for you and all the hours and fucking shit and throw up and blood and people like me you have to endure on a daily. I couldn't do it.
But when I was on my little stroll and came across that nurse desk with about 6 of them laughing it up and talking and carrying on like they were on a fucking picnic and not even on a computer doing anything. I flipped a little. okay okay I flipped a lot. I was like excuse me, I have been in that room for almost 2 hours now and not one of you has even peaked in. This bitch then looks at me and says very rudely "I will be with you in a second" Oh no its damn near one in the morning in my brain I was punching her in her healthy fucking throat. She doesn't have to go home to 3 kids who will be up at 6 in the morning with the god damn flu. I do! I then said I just needed a fucking flu test but it seems like y'all are a to fucking busy laughing. I'll go somewhere else. Left that fucking hospital without even knowing I had the god damn flu. Of course my husband is like babe, you could of handled that better. Well yes I could of but it was 1 in the morning, I am dying from whatever it is in my body and trying to take care of my kids all day. I just wanted a flu test god damnit. So off my husband goes to work the next morning. I am okay until about 10. Where my daughter find me on the toilet crying on the phone with my sister. Who drives an hour to my house so I can go to a different urgent care to confirm why yes I have the flu. TURNS OUT I CAN'T TAKE TAMIFLU GUYS. So it was all for nothing anyway. I had to ride the shit out.
Then when I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel better, finally. Stepped out of the fog I was dying in.. only to get fucking food poisoning from the fuckers in the mall.... Famous Wok fuck you and your spicy chicken. I legit woke up on the toilet at 3 in the morning. No memory of walking my ass there. Horrible contractions happening feeling like I am fucking giving birth again. IT WAS AWFUL. My stomach was sore the next day like I just did a 5 hour ab work out. Thank god I made it to the bathroom sleep walking.
Guys, I lived a week and a half through hell. I don't know how I am still here gracing all you people with my fantastic self. But I made it. I am alive and back. Well not a 100% still coughing up a lung...finger crossed my kids still haven't gotten it. I think I may have scared the flu demons away with how I spoke to them that week.
God bless face masks as well. & the nurses who do their jobs.
As most of you know, I have anxiety. At least 10 times a week I've got cancer or my littles have some type of whacked out disease. Its awful. Every article I read leads me into a full blown freak out. Sometimes I can control my stupid impulses and horrid mind. Something is seriously wrong with it by the way. Well if you read any of my previous shit you've already figured that out. LOL
Well anyway, my sister and husband talks me down most of the time. My poor daughters are screwed though lol My oldest freaks out as much as I do. Don't run in the parking lot or you will die! LOL swear she yelled that at her little brother. It a running joke in our family. Very small things in this house can make you die... Ya you can judge, then I'll tell you to shut the hell up. Living with severe anxiety can be crippling sometimes. Do you assholes think I want to live this way? Doesn't help that I can't even take a freaking pill to calm my shit down. I am allergic to every kinda medication there is pretty much. Swell up like the little brat of charlie and the chocolate factory. Or get hives so bad its unbearable. So I have learned to joke about the things I try to control but can't really... Fake it till I make it... But then this great flu descended upon this earth....
It got me. I am one of the unfortunate souls that the flu demons said "here lies Courtney, I will infect her and that trashy mouth" ....All that talk about me never have gotten it before. Those fuckers showed me. I started to feel super bad on a friday, thought crap I stayed up to late. I just need some sleep. So I went to bed early. Woke up to death. I was a total zombie. I haven't ran a fever in probably seven years guys. Yeah I got the tummy bugs with the shits and what not. NEVER ran fever. My fucking skin hurt. I wanted to lay naked in my bed, but then my sheets hurt my skin. Everything hurt. I was dying. or dead. I didn't know my ass from elbow. By the grace of an angel I still fed my kids and kept up the house the best I could. Bless my sweet husband came home about 9 on Saturday night so I could get up to an urgent care or something to get started on meds. Left the house about 10 and went to the closest urgent care....that was closed down from that mother fucker Harvey. So I remembered that I had a smooth in and out transition at the new memorial Herman at 242. Its late so it'll happen fast. I get there and there is 2 people ahead. One huge dude and one little girl. I am impressed with how the nurse was in the front. Gave me my blessed mask I wore for a week that wonderful lady. Took longer because a pregnant lady came in, not quite ready for maternity ward. I'm not spineless. That's fine, I just kept watching friends on netflix. About 45-50 min in the front I get brought back in a room. By this point I swear I was pretty much a walking corpse. I felt like fucking hell ran over and shit on by a bear. My bitch mode was on, I was tired and hurt everywhere.
So I was finally back, I just needed a flu test and some god damn tamiflu and some reassurance I wasn't going to be one of the souls on the death pole these flu demons have taken this year. I heard the prego being released and then the giant. I was back in that room for almost an hour in a half with not one nurse or doctor that even poked their heads in to see if I was still fucking breathing. Every second that passed the bitchometer was climbing. When I hit that hour and 45 min mark. I got my little sick ass out of that blasted bed and went for a stroll to see if there wasn't a fucking zombie Apocalypse or something that had everyone in a frenzy.
Now I know I have a lot of nurse friends that will probably read this and let me tell you. I love your heart I cant do what you do. I have the utmost respect for you and all the hours and fucking shit and throw up and blood and people like me you have to endure on a daily. I couldn't do it.
But when I was on my little stroll and came across that nurse desk with about 6 of them laughing it up and talking and carrying on like they were on a fucking picnic and not even on a computer doing anything. I flipped a little. okay okay I flipped a lot. I was like excuse me, I have been in that room for almost 2 hours now and not one of you has even peaked in. This bitch then looks at me and says very rudely "I will be with you in a second" Oh no its damn near one in the morning in my brain I was punching her in her healthy fucking throat. She doesn't have to go home to 3 kids who will be up at 6 in the morning with the god damn flu. I do! I then said I just needed a fucking flu test but it seems like y'all are a to fucking busy laughing. I'll go somewhere else. Left that fucking hospital without even knowing I had the god damn flu. Of course my husband is like babe, you could of handled that better. Well yes I could of but it was 1 in the morning, I am dying from whatever it is in my body and trying to take care of my kids all day. I just wanted a flu test god damnit. So off my husband goes to work the next morning. I am okay until about 10. Where my daughter find me on the toilet crying on the phone with my sister. Who drives an hour to my house so I can go to a different urgent care to confirm why yes I have the flu. TURNS OUT I CAN'T TAKE TAMIFLU GUYS. So it was all for nothing anyway. I had to ride the shit out.
Then when I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel better, finally. Stepped out of the fog I was dying in.. only to get fucking food poisoning from the fuckers in the mall.... Famous Wok fuck you and your spicy chicken. I legit woke up on the toilet at 3 in the morning. No memory of walking my ass there. Horrible contractions happening feeling like I am fucking giving birth again. IT WAS AWFUL. My stomach was sore the next day like I just did a 5 hour ab work out. Thank god I made it to the bathroom sleep walking.
Guys, I lived a week and a half through hell. I don't know how I am still here gracing all you people with my fantastic self. But I made it. I am alive and back. Well not a 100% still coughing up a lung...finger crossed my kids still haven't gotten it. I think I may have scared the flu demons away with how I spoke to them that week.
God bless face masks as well. & the nurses who do their jobs.
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